Grow Your Own Pineapple

The pineapple experiment, February 2009

Way back in 2009 I must have read somewhere on the interwebs that you could propagate a pineapple using a pineapple from the grocery store. There’s the weird picture montage I made about it years ago. Last summer while trapped in the house I started a pineapple again since we were going through them like crazy, but I have no pictures. Anyways, I let the poor thing fry out and die, which is why I’ve included this excellent TikTok guide to propagating pineapples in water by Garden Marcus. I love TikTok. I could watch videos of people getting excited about cooking, gardening, painting and making cool things all day.

@gardenmarcus

Propagating a pineapple! I love doing this 😁🍍 (Reupload with fixed audio) #learnfromme #propagate #growyourfruit #happygardener #goodvibes

♬ original sound – Garden Marcus
Look at the sexy beast, December 16, 2009

As you can see our baby grew up and got huge living in this sunny west facing window. I can’t say the same for that poor chenile plant that was murdered by lack of water shortly after this picture was taken. I don’t even remember owning that Philadendron ‘Congo’ on the left. It’s weird looking back at these old pictures.

Sadly there is no video of me getting poked every time I put this guy in the kitchen sink to get watered. There is also no video of me watering it one day, only to have 1000’s of ants start pouring out of it while trying to save their precious eggs. I started screaming obscenities as I always do when this happens, which was frequently when you live on a giant Argentine ant mega-colony that gets cranky when it rains in the winter and decides to invade innocent houseplants, even Tillandsia. When it happens to smaller potted plants we soak the crap out of them, make them sit outside for a day and then hose off all the little ant corpses. This was just too disgusting, so the pineapple was brought to live outside forever which turned out to only be about a week or so. It wasn’t that cold, but I’m guessing the shock of being abandoned to the outdoors by the very people who convinced it to grow again was just too much for it to take.

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